Wow it is already the new year...2011! Christmas was okay. Got a new camera and I love it. We had our last Christmas celebration tonight. The DeHart side...I hated it. It has been 5 years and I still feel like a freaking outcast. NO ONE will talk to me and when I TRY to join in a conversation they look at me like I am an alien. I feel like I can't relate to anyone. I worked really hard last night making pasta salad, 2 cheese balls, and a paradise pumpkin pie. Only 1 piece of the pie was eaten, an Aunt comented that whoever made the pasta salad needed a new recipe (I wanted to throw it in her face) and the cheeseballs went over okay. I don't even know why I try though. The things I try the hardest at (like the pie) are overlooked and not appreciated. I always feel as if I am not good enough.
Sophia cried most of the night and Chris stayed outside in the garage with the guys. I sat alone with Sophia. Chris' cousin Casey hates me- she won't speak to me and just glares at me. The rest of them just degrade things I say. It took me over 2 hours to get ready tonight and I feel like that was a waste. Chris' cousin Justin said something to me and I wanted to flog him. I cried most of the way home and Chris felt really bad-even though it isn't his fault.
I am just pissed right now. and feel so alone.
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