I want to scream like the kids and throw a fit. But no I am an adult and I can't do that. My head is killing me-that argument with Chris last night did not help it. The kids won't take a nap. I dropped a gallon of milk on the parking lot at WalMart. I forgot to stop by Walgreens and get diapers. I need to clean my house. Laundry needs to be folded. I am so tired and worn down. It is a beautiful day outside and I am depressed. sigh.
The only people I ever talk to are the kids, Chris, and my mother. I talk to my BFF once a week, if that-but its not the same. I want day to day interaction with adults, but I can't get a job and afford daycare. I would like to start working in the evenings but I know Chris wouldn't go for that.
I wish mom and dad would watch the kids for a weekend for us, but they won't even keep them for 1 night. Its not fair. Grandparents are suppossed to be happy to keep their grandkids, but not my parents-since they are raising one of them. I wish Chris and I could just get away for a couple of days and not have to worry about the kids, animals, keeping the house clean, etc.
I want a clean house. I want it to stay that way. I am so tired of dirt-not just dust--- mud, wood chips, crumbs, DIRT! No one ever picks anything up, or even tries to clean up messes. Chris will spill something, get a towel and leave the towel on it. ugh.
Oh and my vaccuum sucks...well actually it doesn't suck-that is the problem. Who ever thought it was smart to put all those stupid foam filters in it should be shot. I have washed them numerous times and they are falling apart...and no they don't sell replacements for them anywhere that I can find- I even looked online. I think I need a new one, but I hate to spend much on a vaccuum when the only carpet I have is Cooper's room and the area rug. Of course I use it in other places too though, more the attachements though. The damn thing wouldn't even suck up a cobweb! ugh.
Everything that we got as a wedding present is tearing up. We will celebrate 5 years in July. 5 years! Things should last longer than 5 years. My cookstove only has 3.5 working burners--the main one in the front only works part of the time-and I already tried a new burner--it is the stove. My stand mixer sucks- the bowl is tearing up and I can't get replacement parts because they discontinued the line and no other bowls are compatabile. and my vaccuum. oh and my wall mirror in my bedroom fell off the wall a few days ago and took some of the sheetrock with it...
I want to paint my living room. I want sheetrock on my walls. I am really tired of the blue walls. It makes it so dark in here. I want white walls-or something really light like a cream color. Dark floors, brown furniture, Dark Blue walls, and white trim makes a really dark living room.
I just want to be happy. I can't get Chris to help me with anything! I NEED help with my nestboxes. He acts like he doesn't care. Says he doesn't have the time-but then goes over to dad's and works on a tractor. Since when does his FIL come before his wife? That doesn't seem right to me at all. I am glad they get along, but he needs to learn to say no. No I have things I need to do at home. Erin needs my help. ugh.
I guess I need to quit venting but I am so irriated. I need some mommy make me happy pills- maybe they would help me....
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