Amazing Grace My Chains are Gone

Yesterday afternoon Sophia and I went to a funeral while Cooper was in Preschool.  I did not the deceased, but I know her granddaughter whom I cherish as a friend and sister in Christ.  I have come close to her family as well.  Her grandmother was 91 years old and a wonderful woman.  The service was a bit different than any I had been in, but it was comforting and unlike some the power of our Lord was there yesterday.  It is amazing how God moves through people even in a time of grief.  For the music my friend, her mother and two other ladies sang  it was BEAUTIFUL.

During the last song - Amazing Grace (my Chains are Gone) I could just see Katie's Grandmother rejoicing with the Angels in Heaven.  I just know she was looking down on that service with a smile on her face.  There was so much Power in the song.  It will stay with me forever.

Here is a link to the song (although it was sang even more beautifully yesterday because I think the Angels were singing also)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbe7OruLk8I&feature=colike

"Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)"

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

[2x]
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Fluffy Cottonball aka DIXIE

Dixie our new kitty.  She will be 8 weeks old tomorrow.  She is fluffy and white- like a cotton ball so we named her Dixie.  If you know anything about the South you will understand the name :)  lol  My husband is in LOVE with this cat.  It sleeps in our bed even, last night I put in out on the backporch and he went and got her around 2am b/c she was meowing...then she peed in the bed...  She was on the backporch so she would use her litterbox...

lol  we already had a blue litterbox, but that wasn't good enough for Dixie according to Chris...so she now has a PINK litterbox. rofl  Before you know it she will have a sparkly collar or something.  This is one spoiled cat!  She has the persian look and is adorable and 100% KITTEN.  She LOVES to play and cuddle.  The first night we brought her home she literally played all night long.  Kept both of us awake.

What I am striving for

Day after Day I am realizing how much crap I put in my body.  It is truly disgusting.  I have never been a health nut- I love my candy, but am now realizing what it is doing.  I have always been overweight and I am so sick and tired of not having a body made for clothes of any type really.  Not only am I sick of the fashion side, I am sick of feeling tired and worn out.  I am only 25 years old.

For starters I am going to try to quit drinking soda and try to limit my candy/sweets intakes.  I am going to make some homemade goodies- I think homemade cakes and cookies are better than those you buy at the store.  Hopefully I can get Chris on board with me, it would help if he didn't bring me a Coke and a Hershey's. lol.  I hope I can enforce this on the kids too.  We don't buy many snack foods, mostly because of the expense.  We are going to strive for more fruits and vegetables.

I know I am at an unhealthy weight.  I am not happy and I feel blah many times.  I am going to try and make more meals at home, and quit buying meal helpers like HB Helper (which I don't buy very often).  Also going to strive for larger portions of vegetables than meat.  I will always like my meat, but I don't think it should be the biggest part of the meal.

While sitting in Health class yesterday I realized just how many people don't cook and live off pre-packaged/processed foods.  UGH!

I have dreamed of someday in the future not having to go to the grocery store... I hope that day comes sooner than later.

My health teacher tried to tell me that whole milk was not good for me, I find it hard to believe that Skim Milk is better than fresh.  I just won't believe it.  I guess it depends on what you are considering healthy.  I guess I am not going for a diet, but more for a natural lifestyle.  Eating good doesn't have to be all carrots and celery and water.  It can be pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a salad as long as you don't have to go to a store for the items.  Someday I will even grind my own flour.

I find it curious how people say History repeats itself.  100 years ago people lived the life I strive for.  They strove for a better life, while I feel they had a better life than we do.

I may be off the spectrum or some would say off my rocker, but I don't think we should all just depend on technology all the time.  Technology has taken over our lives- it even can now tell you what to eat.  That scares me.  My health teacher reminds me of this teacher I had in High school named Mr Ragain.  I despised him.  These are the guys that are super health fanatics and couldn't live without their technology.  They have probably never driven down a dirt road and couldn't tell the difference between a Brahman and a Charolais.  Yesterday I had to listen to Mr White (rolls eyes) talk about how when you are grocery shopping you should scan your food with your smartphone because there is an app called Fooducate that will "grade" your food for you.  In other words it will tell you if the food is healthy or not.  Seriously?  You don't know what is healthy and you teach health?  I just want to punch him in the face. or at least educate him on what is healthy.

I guess I need to quit ranting about Health class...

In times like these you need a Savior

In times like these you need a anchor...

My Grandma Kirksey (my mom's mom) is dying.  It is so hard to admit that outloud.  She has been in the hospital since Sunday morning and is going home tomorrow with Hospice, IF she makes it through the night.  She has battled this illness for so long- she has trouble breathing and has been on oxygen for many years.  (She also smokes, but I won't go into that right now)  She has been house-ridden for the past few years, only getting out here and there.  She mostly sits at the kitchen table.

I feel helpless.  Mom doesn't want us all up at the hospital and I feel like I should be doing something but I don't know what.  I called Liz this afternoon to let her know.  She doesn't really act like she cares.

be very sure, be very sure, your anchor holds and grips the solid rock....

Mom also found out that Grandpa Kirksey has prostate cancer.  He has had it before and now it is back.  He doesn't want treatment because he did not do good with it last time- it made him really sick.

As far as I know Grandma does not know our precious Savior.  Please pray for our family.  I know my mom is struggling and I don't know what to do because I am not strong when it comes to this stuff.

this rock is Jesus, yes He is the One This rock is Jesus the Only One


Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

In times like these you need the Bible
In times like these o be not idle
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the one
This Rock is Jesus, The only One
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

In times like these, I have a Savior
In times like these, I have an anchor
I'm very sure, I'm very sure
My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the one
This Rock is Jesus, The only One
I'm very sure, I'm very sure
My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock 

Grandma and Grandpa Kirksey September 25, 2010
Their 60th Wedding anniversary.

Apple Cake

1/4 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 tsp Apple Pie Spice
2 medium tart apples, peeled and grated
1/4 cup chopped pecans

Caramel Sauce
6 T Butter
1/2 C Heavy Cream
1 Cup Sugar

Cake directions:
In a large bowl cream together butter and sugar, blend in vanilla and egg. Combine flour, baking soda, Apple pie spice - gradually add to creamed mixture. Fold in apples and pecans. Batter will be thick.

Spread into a greased 8x8 baking dish and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 40-45 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Caramel Sauce:
In a HEAVY bottomed pan heat sugar until it caramelizes, be careful not to burn. Stir frequently. Once it become brown and complete liquid add butter. Whisk or use a wooden spoon to melt and stir in butter, remove from heat and count to 3. Add Cream and stir in.

Pour caramel over the top of the cake let cool.

You can store in left over caramel sauce in the fridge for up to 3 months.


I didn't take a picture but it was really good!

Halter breaking...

I don't know much about halter breaking calves. But we are going to learn.  I am determined to learn, because I want to turn our two half dairy heifers into family milk cows.  These two heifers we raised from bottle calves last fall, they are part black angus and part gurnsey.  I have named them Harriet and Angel.  I am hoping to be be able to sell one of them and keep one of them, but they won't be ready to be milked until Spring 2013 or so.  Even still we need to start working with them now, or they are going to get to hard to handle.  They are very friendly and I am praying that they won't be stubborn and unruly.  I can pet them when they eat, so I think we will probably start them by feeding them.  I have been watching some youtube videos about halter breaking cattle, but surprisingly there isn't that much info out there.  Whenever you look up halter breaking most things that come up is about horses.

Some pics of Harriet and Angel:

Rainy morning

Rainy morning this morning gives me zero motivation.  I am so stressed out and tired, I wish I could just sleep but I can't seem to with the kids running about!  They are the most ornery mischievous children this morning.  I still haven't went out to feed the animals yet- did I mention I was tired. lol

Yesterday was a day of tears. Literally I cried most of the day, tried to keep myself together but I was so upset with OTC that I didn't have any other outlet than tears.  Chris and I were expecting to get my loan refund last Thursday (as in a week ago today) but it didn't show up.  I called Tuesday morning and they said if it didn't show up Wednesday morning to call back.  So yesterday morning I called back.  Talked to 6 different people and FINALLY someone tells me that it will be another 14 days until we get our money.  I have past due bills, things I need to buy, and people to pay back.  Chris has pawned 3 of his guns this month so we could pay the electric bill and have gas money.  My gas light is on in my car, and we have to go to Weaubleau this weekend to mow hay if it isn't raining.  We are going to sell some calves this Saturday for money.  I hate that we have to. But I guess I should be glad that we have them to sell.

Last night I was sitting in Math 050 and was staring at a math problem.  I stared at them for most of the class I just couldn't understand it.  They are percentage word problems and I just can't get them.  Finally my teacher told me I could go on home, they are not supposed to let you leave early, but I came into class about 30 minutes early so she said I could go home.  I know she was worried about me and I didn't want her to worry.  I had to leave earlier in the class to go to the restroom because I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes.  I felt like failure.  Can't do math, can't get a decent score on my tests in any class, have ZERO money yet am not in financial need according to the school (don't even want to go into that part of yesterday), my house is a wreck, my kids won't listen/obey me, I just can't seem to get anything right.

I just want to scream. Scream very very very loud.